Satellite of Love

A view

2012-01-24T21:29:00.003-07:00

This is the view from our new place. An open space with trails. I feel like I have been transported back to Boulder. Super comforting. When we decided to move to Austin, we were full of excitement, nerves, and more excitement. We didn't really anticipate all of the changes. But that is the great thing about this life, the ability to change, to move on, change some more. I am so looking forward to feeling more settled. Takes time, takes time, takes time.

I think I am becoming a plant lady. Let's just leave it at that.

It's amazing how two new dresses hanging in the closet can feel so great.

I have been daydreaming for about two years now about a little bar at our place. And now I finally have an idea and can't wait to share the before and after.

I love how a gloomy rainy day can transform the feeling of the day.

I am in awe by the fact that I am finding comfort in getting back in to my routine of working from home. With so much upheaval, a job that I don't really like is pulling through for me.

We have lots of fun meals planned for this week. Meant to go to the grocery Sunday morning. Didn't go until tonite after work. Ahhh, nothing like putting things off.

I have two little packages to send out soon. Still putting one together, need to unpack a box to send the other. I found an old list of things to do more often. One of the items on the list was sending a post card a month. Never did that. I think a little package or two every couple of months sounds nice.

Today a close friend wrote to me to say he's thinking of moving to Austin. I almost fainted at the thought. To have a close friend here would be too good to be true.

Lately I have been repeating the following phrase in my head: too blessed to be stressed.

You know how poetry reviews recommend that you read their work before submitting? I think I need to start following that advice.

Good night.

so tonight that i might see

2012-01-14T20:06:00.008-07:00

The other night we started a Velvet Underground collage. There is something pretty fantastic about cutting out pictures, concentrating, creating something.

Today I packed my collection of cameras. And thought, I feel like I just did this. And I guess I did.

I had a flashback today. Of when we first met. The first time I noticed that his hands often shook when he was around me. That after a while, the shaking stopped.

Today, things starting feeling better. With the windows open and loud music filling the apartment, I felt the best I have in a while. I also have the next nine days off of work, which couldn't feel better. It takes so much, to get to this point. But I look back at the past feel months and I feel good about how hard I worked, how I dedicated myself fully.

A plant that I have had for several years is slowly wilting in parts. When I walk by and glance at it, I feel sad. And keep telling myself it might need more sun, or maybe more water, maybe less. Why is the plant changing now, when I haven't been doing anything differently.

I am becoming obsessed with finding a library close to our new place. Haven't been to one in months. I really need to walk out of one with the tallest stack of books in my arms. Even if I only glance at them. Some real comfort in this thought.

Tomorrow is our last nite at our place. It feels strange, but not super sad. This place has never really felt very cozy. Maybe because we have barely been here. And it takes time to get used to new things. I find myself reminding myself of this all the time.

The book I am reading has endnotes. I love flipping the pages to the back of the book to read the references. So nerdy!

And! This song is so awesome.

Wednesday

2012-01-11T10:12:00.004-07:00

We have started packing. Is it crazy to say that most of the boxes packed are of books? We have so many books. I love that. This is our third move in five months. It is a tad overwhelming. But I guess I just don't let myself think about it too much, just go with it.

Last year, around Christmas, I saw an amazing show on the Cooking Channel, about The Four Coursemen. This past week another special premiered, this time an adventure, and it was amazing. So crazy that they were in Colorado, around the time we moved.

I am a bit obsessed thinking about our new place, and the second bedroom. It's going to be half studio/half office. I can't wait to set everything up, hang things on the wall, create a little reading corner (if there is room). We get our keys this Friday, move Monday. So close!

The past few weeks have been tough. I have been almost clinging to the good things, hoping the bad things away. The little things - having a little espresso glass full of coffee liqueur after dinner, making sandwiches in a panini maker rather than on the stove, long conversations with close friends over the phone, working with Steven on the album.

I submitted two poems yesterday. I really need to research the proper way to submit things. Woke up feeling silly about something I did.

This song has been dazzling me lately.

Second day

2012-01-02T14:40:00.021-07:00

Today we slept in. Past 10:30. Almost never happens! We walked to the bakery, had coffee, water with lemon, bagels and cream cheese. We both brought books and notebooks. Relaxed, read, wrote. Took the long way home, by the end of it our coats were off and the wind had died down. Going for a little new year happy hour in a bit. Can't wait.

The past few days I have written many things down. I have contemplated the meaning of forgiveness. And then forgetfulness. And then clumsiness. I am seeing things in a new way. I am feeling hope. I have been tired. But I am excited.

Ready, able (again)

2011-12-31T18:03:00.002-07:00

I have been trying to find the words to express how I have been feeling. And then I came across this post. And it explains beautifully what we have encountered (in a way). We are embarking on a new adventure. Steven quit his job and found an amazing teaching program to get his teaching certificate. It's so beautiful being a part of someones life who is following their dreams. To ease some of the worries that go along with going down to one income, we are moving. To a cozy, cozy space, that happens to have a second bedroom and is bigger than our current place. And much, much cheaper. Feeling way lucky.

When I look back on this year, I feel grateful. Grateful that we took a huge risk, and then another, and then another. For our sweet friends and family. For every single moment that brought us to this moment.

And one of our favorite sayings keeps coming up - This too. And I find pure comfort in it.

Happy New Year to you, happy, happy.

Today, and tomorrow

2011-12-23T18:54:00.006-07:00

I have been inspired yet again by my sweet, sweet friend Sirena. This time, with beginning (once again) my obsession with champagne. We had a last minute run to the store this afternoon and picked up a couple of bottles. I baked and baked the sweetest treats while drinking champagne. It was pretty perfect.

Amidst all of the serious decisions we have been making lately, I couldn't stop thinking about rum balls. So I finally got all of the ingredients today and made them. So happy I did. They are glorious.

Next up: chocolate cookies topped with sea salt, almond butter tart.

It is so sad, but since December is the craziest, busiest month of the year at work, I don't really get excited or magical spirit filled until the last moment. Today was full of magic. And tomorrow. And the next. And the next.

I received this book in the mail yesterday. I have been wanting this book for so long. I love that I now have it forever - to refer to, to get inspired by, to love.

Lately, things have been coming together and reminding me about the power of perfect timing. Right now, this is coming in the form of a book, a decision that lets us breathe enormous sighs of relief, a day to cook for hours, glances at each other that remind us that this is real.

And because the champagne is talking, I now give you a few guilty pleasures.

And if you are reading this, I wish you all the happiness in the world, always.

All for you

2011-12-15T18:12:00.011-07:00

When I was little we would drive to a town about an hour away to look at Christmas lights. It always felt magical. Last weekend we went to San Antonio, spent an evening on the riverwalk, ducking in and out of bars as it was raining, and cold. One of those memorable nights, like long ago. We can't wait to go back in the spring, spend a longer weekend there.

I keep thinking back to last year around this time. It was a tough time. And this year, tough in a different way. If you can get through a time like that, you can get through it again.

And the perfect cozy dinner, on a very rainy day: a slow cooked chicken in mushrooms and onions, greek caponata, baguette, goat cheese.

I didn't know if I would like this song at first. But boy, I really love it.

Let me in

2011-12-09T14:52:00.006-07:00

I keep thinking about firsts, now that we are settling in to our new town. Our first time at our favorite restaurant. First weekend out of town, to a nearby town. First long walk in the moonlight. First time getting coffee at the bakery down the street. And today, our first fog. Everything still feels so new. Our neighborhood is becoming familiar. When we return back here after a bit of time away, we breathe little sighs of relief, that feeling of belonging that comes with the feeling of home.

Instead of a song in my head, I have a line. Slowly we unfold.

Today he told me I have such capacity for passion and joy. I hope to always remember these words.

If you need a weekend song, this is it.

My baby

2011-12-07T18:54:00.003-07:00

Sometimes after a tough day at work, you just gotta go to a semi fancy place for dinner, order cocktail after cocktail, and order anything on the menu you want. And when this song comes on,

you will close your eyes, and think about villas in Italy, where a party is taking place, women in pretty dresses, candles in every room. And then, you smile and turn to your favorite person and feel so lucky to be here.

For snow

2011-11-30T19:20:00.006-07:00

I have been listening to Kate Bush's new album on repeat. Maybe even beyond repeat if that's possible. It's perfect for right now, about snow, about love. I was really tickled by Big Boi's response to the album. If you want a copy of it, I would totally send one to you, just let me know!

I can't really wrap my mind around the fact that it gets cold in Texas (after heat upon heat wave). The other evening we turned on the heat. I look forward to that first heat-the smell, the encompassing.

It's so strange, living downtown, and having the sweetest, cutest neighborhood just two blocks up a hill. It transforms. Once again I have promised myself to take long walks this winter. Take it in, get ideas, pick up branches, inspect exteriors of houses, the sky. I really, really should this year. This year.

Last nite was the coziest of all. Right after work we got in bed and watched Mad Men & ate french bread with goat cheese and salami, lots of red wine. I can't wait to re-create this again, soon. In bed right after work.

Another strange thing. Everyone that we encounter in Austin is soooo super nice. And we love it. But the people that live in our apartment building are standoffish, not very nice. We barely see people here and when we do, we are usually totally ignored. It kinda hurts my feelings. It's ok to admit that. I tell myself.

We picked up a few items at the grocery for dinners this week. Pasta, with a roasted vegetable sauce (I added tons of crushed garlic, topped it with ricotta and a bit of olive oil). Herb & garlic chicken, with a winter salad. Potato leek soup with barbecue chicken sandwiches. We are really loving super simple lately. And doing it all together.

I had a mushroom ragu the other day, it's still on my mind. I think I will make it at Christmas. Planning that menu with my dad-one of my all time favorite things.

This is a good song for the winter. It reminds me of a time, but I can't think of the dates, the actual time. I just heard it in the movie Shop Girl and it took me back.

Around

2011-11-15T17:58:00.009-07:00

The other day I found a penny on the ground and picked it up. Let's see how that goes.

Today it rained. I painted my nails coral.

There is grace, around every corner. I promise.

Nights

2011-11-02T13:32:00.011-06:00

The Year of Magical Thinking changed the way I read. The way I process information, the way I take time to relish words. That book, I tell ya. Extraordinary. My fascination with memoirs started shortly after finishing it. And now, six years later, Joan Didion's new memoir is out. And I really can't even describe how I feel. I placed Blue Nights on hold at the book store down the street. And picked it up last nite. I haven't been this nerdy in a while, butterflies, almost panicking at the thought of holding the book in my hands, being able to pick it up whenever I want to read it (after wondering for so long what even one page looked like!!).

Last week I took Thursday and Friday off of work. We had a trip planned but we weren't able to go at the last minute. So I decided to still take the days off. And it was pretty magical. Walking, walking, walking, reading, organizing, buying sweet things for the apartment, perfecting a pasta dish (turns out it just needs to be in the fridge for four days, warmed up with hot sauce and pepper, who knew!!), finishing season 3 of breaking bad, baking for the first time in our new kitchen, sneaking peeks at Steven.

While walking home the other evening, I noticed this Pieta Brown poster. When I was in college, a boy gave me a cd, of Pieta Brown. And it was one of the best albums I have ever heard. But to this day, I can't remember the name of the album and I have not been able to find it anywhere. Sometimes I think that I just dreamt of these songs, the perfect kind of songs that don't really exist.

A bakery

2011-10-24T11:59:00.006-06:00

There is a really cute bakery near our apartment, Sweetish Hill. I have been so excited to go there. And I loved it (not surprising!).

Today definitely feels like a Monday.

Sweet

2011-10-23T08:39:00.007-06:00

The other evening I spent a couple hours unpacking our living room. This little corner is now one of my favorite spots.

I took a break to check the mail, and was so excited to find that Steven's Granny sent me a package. Inside were three vintage aprons, they are so beautiful and perfect, I hung them up instantly and kept walking by them, to admire them.

I finally submitted my poem, to a review that I really love. I love that moment when you click 'submit' and then it's just out there, for someone to read, to decide on.

We are about to walk to a nearby bakery. I have been really looking forward to this.

Extra

2011-10-19T15:32:00.003-06:00

So I may or may not be a workaholic. I blame it on my mid-western upbringing. So working from home is kinda nuts, because I am always around the computer, able to work. So I have been forcing myself to take longish lunches, and breaks. Ok, maybe the breaks are me imagining myself going to the rooftop deck to read for a bit, or write, or just stare at the sky. I love, love, love cooking dinner, and now I am really loving making lunch. One of these days I think I will walk somewhere for lunch. Instead of thinking about how daunting working from home can be, I want to take advantage of the flexibility, of being in an amazing location.

I recently read a recipe in my food + wine magazine about a caramel pie, and I can't stop thinking about it. It involves a glass dish in a roasting pan, surrounded by water. Which I am sure is so simple, but it makes me nervous! I wonder if that kind of thing makes other people nervous. Ahhhhhh well.

This evening is dedicated to unpacking. And watching the second season premiere of Extra Virgin. Oh, and rum.

We recently entered another remix contest. We remixed Work Drugs 'Third Wave', delish.

Work Drugs - Third Wave (Paola Remix) by paolamusic

Follow me

2011-10-18T08:16:00.005-06:00

Last nite we did a grocery shop, of more than five or six items. Why does it feel so good stocking a fridge? The apartment is slowing being unpacked and organized. I wish I had tons of time off of work to do this, it's so hard to get motivated after work to do much. I have started an Ikea list, I think we might go there early Saturday morning. We just inheritated a gorg arm chair from my parents, it deserves a reading lamp (my dream!!!). When I was little I imagined living in a big city, in the middle of everything. Feels so nice doing this.

We are entering a cold front down here, 76 degrees, and windy!! Brrr.

I have a poem that I want to submit to the Iowa Review. But I am stuck on the formatting of the poem. And not knowing exactly what else to include in the submission. So I am putting it off.

My obsession with finding a library job is careening out of control. Oh daydreams.

Come inside

2011-10-10T08:29:00.010-06:00

I am sitting at my desk, in our new apartment. Decided last week I should take today off of work, to unpack my kitchen. Um, best idea I have ever had. It has been gloomy/stormy here all weekend, and today too. Pretty great day to unpack. I took a bunch of photos before the movers came with all our stuff. Now flash forward two days and our place looks like a semi-mild episode of hoarders. We have sooo much stuff. It's insane. I just kept telling myself we went from 1500 sq ft to 800, that kinda makes me feel better amongst this sea of boxes. I have a kinda wild idea. This kitchen is just too amazing and should be showcased a bit. I have always wanted to create little cooking videos and this just might be the spot to try it out. I will have to get over my insane shyness, and find a video camera, but I have some cool ideas in mind.

And here is the new place! (p.s. the lighting is pretty bad in here, and my camera sucks). I can't believe that I now have a dishwasher, a garbage disposal and air conditioning. To celebrate, I bought a fancy pumpkin spice handsoap for the kitchen (yes, I am an old lady).

View from my desk.

On a Sade note, I have been listening to Love Deluxe on repeat for the past two weeks. Non-stop. Oh, and maybe this song too.

And! This post evokes a lot in me, but most of all, how perfect it sounds.

Moving day

2011-10-08T06:53:00.003-06:00

We are moving in to our new apartment today. I have the craziest butterflies, and all these ideas in my head. Steven was offered a job a little over a week ago, he started Monday. To say that we feel lucky is an understatement. Can't believe we are leaving the safe confines of the retirement community to our own place, just west of downtown.

I have so much to write, even made a list. Hopefully next week.

Wild

2011-09-18T18:17:00.002-06:00

I have a tiny confession. My new glamorous life in Austin is not so glamorous. We are living 45 minutes north of the city, with my parents, in a retirement community. Please tell me you are jealous. I don't think I have mentioned that before. It's funny, envisioning this change one way, and it's so completely opposite, so different. Living with parents again..hmmm..I bet you can imagine. I am working remotely at their kitchen table. I just added a lamp to the table to spice things up, and it makes me so happy. Ahhh the little things. We are camping out here until Steven finds a job. Feel so fortunate we have a place to stay. But I can't even tell you how much I dream about having our own place again. I am pretty obsessed.

Today is my last day in my twenties. It feels a little strange. But kinda cool. I think margaritas are in order. And I fly to Boulder Tuesday morn, which is so exciting on so many levels, but maybe most importantly, because they are having cool weather and I won't be sweating as much (ew, sorry).

We went to Austin City Limits this weekend, on Friday. I forgot how much I don't like music festivals, prolly the only one in the world!! But! We saw Wild Beasts, and it rained, and I danced and sang, and maybe teared up a little bit because their music is so beautiful. So it was way worth it. We may or may not have left early to drink two bottles of wine together. That's what the 30s entail, I have been told.

Lindy

2011-09-09T12:54:00.005-06:00

This past weekend is what dreams are made of. My best friends flew down and surprised me for my birthday. It was really one of the best weekends of my life, I feel so lucky. We bar hopped (Steven lindy hoppped his way to each bar), had a dance party in the hotel room, shopped til we dropped and ate some amazing food. Pure, amazing heaven.

I am licherally shakin in my boots with excitement for this weekend, it's the first weekend in a couple months that we don't really have anything planned. Except for some fun errands like buying a french press, stamps, getting a library card and sending some packages to friends. Easy stuff. I also plan on reading (a ton) and watching endless episodes of Felicity on netflix (is it bad that I have cried during every episode so far??).

On a luscious side note, the other night I got lost in a stack of books at my favorite used book store. On a bottom shelf I found a small black book, without a cover, without a title on the front, just the following words in red on the side - 9 1/2 weeks. Um, like the movie, which is one of my favorite movies? Turns out the movie was originally a memoir, no idear why I didn't know that. I am almost done with it, it's under 100 pages. And it's amazing. Pretty steamy, but not in a cheesy way.

It has been in the low 90's here lately. It feels so good. With the breeze, it almost feels like the end of summer. We'll see.

Frank

2011-08-30T20:43:00.007-06:00

The other morning we were meandering around town and had no idea where to stop for lunch. We crossed the street with these two guys and they started talking to us and we mentioned we just moved here and they recommended a place for brunch so we followed them in. Turned out to be a great spot. Our waiter was pretty funny, with his references to hot dogs for breakfast and mentioning that his current guilty pleasure is eating grits covered in lots of ketchup while watching Millionaire Matchmaker. Pretty amazing. I have been telling myself for months that when we move I will be more outgoing, you know, like strike up a convo with a stranger. Did I mention that the waiter was constantly dancing? So on the receipt I signed, You've got the moves! That's outgoing, right?

Since I am working from home full-time, my outfits consist of black yoga pants and black tank tops. I am really liking that. Trying to get in the groove of all this new stuff.

People have started blogging about fall, and fall-like things. This makes my heart ache a tad, since it's so hot here and I don't even know if there is fall weather. I can't wait to wear tights again.

Thursday

2011-08-18T18:19:00.003-06:00

Here we are, in Austin. The move went about as smooth as you can get. We drove through Kansas & Oklahoma. We really loved the sunset in the hills of Oklahoma. It feels so wild, driving many hours to a new place, and now it's our home. It's way hot here, but surprisingly not as hot as we expected. I am loving my hair down here, it's huge!! I'm pretty sure I will start using endless amounts of hairspray. And my bangs? Those babies will be sprayed up & out. Oh yea.

Packing is quite the experience. There is something great about the ritual of it. And lovingly wrapping the things you adore, like these babies.

I could go on and on about the perils of moving, but all I can really think about was what I had for lunch I had today. I bought tons of small tomatoes at the farmers market a couple days ago that I couldn't wait to toss together with olive oil, sea salt & pepper. I toasted some bread, scooped on the tomatoes and topped with a light white cheese & a super thin layer of mayo. I sliced up a few radishes & topped with sea salt. Also had some of my mom's homemade potato salad. It was so simple and so delish. I think I will have the same thing tomorrow.

We went to a Sade concert a few nights before we left. That show was beyond my wildest dreams. She has been my fave since I was little. I can't believe I got the chance to see her. For my thirtieth bday, I think I am going to have a portrait of her tattooed on my upper left arm.

cheers, fo sho

2011-08-02T21:40:00.003-06:00

I have this photo I have been wanting to post, of the sign I made for our garage sale. But I am so very lazy lately. So here are a few songs that have been buzzing around my in car, my house, my head for a few days now.

It has been in the 90s & above for ten days straight, or something wild like that. Today, it was in the 80's. I ate dinner outside with my bestie Payal, and I swear, a breeze was running through our hair and caressing our drinks. It was amazing. A break from the heat, exactly what I needed.

Last nite I packed three big boxes of books. Felt so good. I may have been sweating profusely and had a very heavy shoe fall on my shoulder.

Today, about mid-day, my heart was racing for about 10 minutes, and I was this close to giving my two weeks notice at work. A part of me wishes I had enough gusto for that. But I guess all the sensible responsibilities that the job allows is outweighing anything too rash right now. I think my heart raced because I finally realized it is time to move on, that it's necessary. And my heart surged with excitement, and panic. A good feeling I suppose.

We leave town in twelve days.

You know a place

2011-07-20T14:25:00.003-06:00

This little ditty was in a movie I saw recently, For Lovers Only. I had always liked this song, but now when I hear it, I remember the sweet black and white scene in the movie and I love it even more. Sometimes music in movies can be beyond magical.

I hope you can bear with me, with my posts over the next little bit. I am a tad emotional (due to the move and a million other things) so my words have a way of conveying how I feel better than I do. And hopefully Steven doesn't mind all the pity parties that I save for home. Oh, I am awesome lately.

Our landlord is going to start showing our place soon. Feels so strange, knowing people are checking out the ad that we checked out 2 years ago, that people will walk around the rooms of the house envisioning themselves living there. At least we will get to enjoy a clean/oraganized house the few weeks we have left in it.

We are having a garage sale this Saturday. Is it sad that I am already not looking forward to figuring out change to give to people, because I do poorly on the spot, when calculations are involved?

Hope you are having a lovely week, wherever you are!

Friday

2011-07-15T20:15:00.002-06:00

This is the view from my front porch. I am going to miss sitting out there. I have written many a page from the steps, had tons of drinks, watched lightening, taken deep breaths when things went wrong. All from the small space right outside our front door.

I read recently that hydrangeas do not grow in Texas. That was a tad heart breaking. But! Mango and papaya trees can grow in your back yard. So I would like that.

Is it true that things get worse before they get better? Just wondering.

I checked out four books from the library. I can't really get in to any of them. Maybe I am too distracted. Maybe it's too hot in our house.

I think tomato season starts soon? I usually let it pass me by, not enjoying it to the fullest. Maybe this year will be different.

Capiche? (do people still say that?)

Loooooooove

2011-07-01T19:12:00.004-06:00

I am having a rough time lately. It involves work, and that always makes me feel silly. It's just work, right? That's what people tell me. I keep telling myself it will get easier, and I am sure it will, but right now? So hard. And I guess on top of it I am starting to have the pangs that creep in when you remember you are moving away from a million things you love, and know.

I sent my Dad this song.

He wrote back that it made him cry. That the saddest part of the song for him was the idea of someone not loving you back. Man oh man.

It's getting hot, hot, hot here. Now that's something.

The last night

2011-06-17T10:57:00.008-06:00

On our last evening in Kauai, we stopped by a teeny tiny Fish Market to pick up some things for dinner.

On a side note, before we left for our trip I stopped by the MAC store to buy a new lipstick. I wanted something bright and kinda wild. The girl that helped me picked out a shade called Girl About Town. It's hot pink and glorious. The girl kept calling me sister. I didn't really know how to respond, I think I called her sister girl in response (weird!). Then other girls that worked there came up to me and were like 'You are buying Girl About Town, you go girl!'. It was too much hilarity for one afternoon.

i drop my anchor

2011-06-14T19:42:00.014-06:00

Looking back at our trip now that we have been home for a bit, I almost feel as if it was all a dream, it was that good. Every day looked like this: we slept in, wandered into the kitchen and made coffee and egg sandwiches, read in the kitchen then moved to the lanai where I would write in my journal and read for 2-3 hours. Then we would get ready and usually venture out to a town one over, Hanalei. Really cute little town full of surfers and hipsters. I loved that every girl had on a strapless sundress, I fit right in. Then we would head to the beach and come home when it started to rain. Dinners were usually out, fish and lots of wine. Bed time was usually early and always refreshing (we had an air conditioner in the room so I would crank it up, letting all of the cool take over since we don't have air conditioning at home).

There is an overwhelming sense of nostalgia in me, for such a relaxing, fine time. I haven't really ever experienced a tropical paradise and this really was one. We didn't take a ton of pictures, but there a few gems. And did I mention that I read two entire books while I was there? Heaaaaaaaaaven.

House we stayed in

View from the lanai

sweetness

2011-06-10T15:57:00.009-06:00

Today I spent some time shopping (butcher, grocery, wine) and extra time in the kitchen. I went on a bit of cleaning frenzy before we left for vacation, I loved that the kitchen was organized & clean when preparing for this evening. We are having a little dinner party with friends. I took my time chopping carrots, celery, tomatoes, strawberries, mango. On the menu for the evening: avocado/strawberry/parmesan salad, french bread, bbq chicken on the grill (the chicken has been marinating in chicken stock all day), grilled asparagus, German potato salad, celery/carrot/tomato salad (italian vinaigrette & parmesan), and for dessert, vanilla ice cream with macadamia nut cookies & mango. It's our first time using the grill this summer, we are really excited.

Before leaving for Hawaii, I read this sweet post by Jess over at Sweet Amandine. The ingredients for her salad followed me around, it's pretty much all I could think about. I held out for a few days and ended up making the salad the fourth day we were in Hawaii, for lunch. It was soooo good, which I had a feeling it would be. I'm dying to make it again, so happy I will this evening.

of late

2011-06-09T17:43:00.009-06:00

I have been sleeping every available moment. I am just starting to feel like myself again. I guess night flights are not made for me. I finally left the house around noon today and walked by the backyard. And stopped in my tracks. And yelled something. Steven heard me from inside and opended a window to see what had happened. The rose bush had bloomed, I wasn't expecting it. What a gorgeous sight.

The trip to Hawaii was amazing. I have so much to post, I think I will write a few. For now, I will be resting and dreaming.

Oh, and listening to these two songs on repeat.

And if you need some gems to read this summer, you should definitely read Trail of Crumbs by Kim Sunée & An Italian Affair by Laura Fraser. Primo, primo reads.

here

2011-06-06T13:39:00.003-06:00

Today is our last full day in Kaua'i. This trip is beyond words (yet I am capturing it all in my journal). It has been the truest form of relaxation. Full of long, long moments on the lanai, eating fruit every chance I get, looking at the most exotic trees and flowers around every turn.

I am going to miss this place, the pace of it, the smell. I hope I can take some things away with me and keep living in this way.

sunday

2011-05-31T14:29:00.006-06:00

On Sunday we spent the morning & afternoon in Boulder and the evening in Denver. Spent a lot of time outside, which was glorious. Walking to dinner, we walked by an alley that had lots of old run down furniture, I could have taken a ton of pictures but I think I am the only one getting a kick out of them. The night ended with fireworks, my favorite.

We leave tomorrow. I can't believe it. Downloaded lots of books and lots of new music. Here we go.

today

2011-05-26T20:55:00.003-06:00

I love the days before a trip, the little moments of adding items to a list, shopping for certain things, organizing it all before placing in a suitcase. I have started laying things out, admiring the colors, how relaxed everything already looks and feels. I am close behind. I have never taken two weeks off of work. My mind can't really fathom this. There is so much work left before I can say I am totally done, but I am getting there. And trying to stay calm. Because then I think of warm nights with a little rain. Walking ten minutes to find myself on a beach. Going to a farmers market that will have fruits I have probably never seen. Taking more pictures that I usually do. Writing, writing, writing.

I want to start posting more things here. I think I am a tad lazy. I have so many ideas, I should just put them on here, yea?

Today a friend told me something important, something wonderful. I gushed and gushed with joy for him. It felt so great to feel that for someone. To feel confided in.

tangled

2011-05-17T21:53:00.008-06:00

I have been feeling quiet lately. Lots of words tumbling around in my head. Sugar lemon water. How quickly the glamor fades. It is this being so tangled in you. Don't worry.

p.s. austin has a crazy amount of libraries, 24 or something wild like that. that is one thing making me feel hopeful lately.

p.p.s. we are going to kaua'i in 15 days, holy sheet!

coeur

2011-05-04T20:39:00.014-06:00

When we started talking seriously about moving to Austin in January, we booked a trip to check out neighborhoods. Time went by (very quickly) and last week we spent five days in Austin. Every single thing about the trip felt right. My heart is soaring at the thought of our move, it feels so much more real now. We found a couple neighborhoods we really love and hope to rent in one of them. It was really warm while we were there and the nights were ridiculous. Warm with big breezes. The smells of summer washing over everything. It reminded me a lot of the midwest, so pretty much heaven. I could go on and on, about how the trees are extra beautiful, about how there are lakes and rivers everywhere you turn, about how mexican martinis are on most menus and they are perfect at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Getting away always feels so good, but especially this time. I was patient, I was easily awed, I held on to Steven a bit more than I usually do. I want to go back.

Plum

2011-04-24T16:06:00.002-06:00

Our plum tree is covered in pretty white blossoms. So in love. We didn't notice the flowers last spring. I'm so glad we did this year. Last summer I lovingly watered the plum tree every day, touching the plums, patiently waiting for them to ripen. One day, at the end of summer, I went out to the tree and all of the plums had been picked. Our landlord had come over and taken every. single. one. I might have cried a little. We won't be here at the end of this summer. I will still water the tree every day, hoping someone comes again and takes them.

Catch me

2011-04-14T11:04:00.004-06:00

Last night it rained, for hours and hours. We couldn't wait to go to sleep, to hear it and feel cozy in bed. The sky was grey yesterday, and now today. Guess it's kinda perfect that I have been feeling a bit sad, I guess you could even say blue. I think I need to learn how to cope with disappointment easier. Or at least become less sensitive. One or the other. Yes please to both.

On a very pleasing note, we are moving to Austin mid August. There are a bazil things to do. We decided in January and I think we are in that spot where every little thing we think of to do is overwhelming. But it's so goddamn exciting. I love moving, packing, dreaming, cleaning. Weird, huh? I love the idea of driving miles and miles to start anew. Perfection.

If you are feeling a little blue, don't be afraid to listen to a Red House Painters station on Pandora, every song will make you ache a little more.

the same, but not

2011-04-13T13:50:00.002-06:00

'Instead of replying, she pushed her nearly untouched glass of tonic water another six or eight inches away from herself.' ~Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

'I do find it difficult talking about my music, she admits, carefully pouring herself a glass of water from the bottle in front of her but neglecting to drink from it.' ~PJ Harvey interview in Spin

New

2011-04-12T15:20:00.011-06:00

I recently bought a food processor. I have been dreaming about one for years and finally bought one. As soon as I took it out of the box, I made pesto.

Hello, gorgeous.

I added the pesto to a cream sauce and it was delightful. I had about half a bowl of pesto left over so later in the week I added to another sauce. And! I didn't follow a recipe, I made it up as I went, which I hardly ever do because the perfectionist part of me loves following precise directions.

I browned two pieces of chicken (in olive oil for about 5 minutes per side). Then I added vegetable broth, half of a yellow onion (diced) & white wine and let the chicken simmer for about 10 minutes. I removed the chicken then added the pesto to the broth. Sliced the chicken and tossed with whole wheat angel hair pasta, steamed broccoli, feta & topped with the sauce. Holy sheeeet, it was good. And I felt so happy that I could toss something together like that. I hope I do it more often.

Berry

2011-03-26T12:09:00.008-06:00

We recently bought an omnichord and I am wayyyyyy in love with it. Steven and I are working on a song right now. It's a dream machine. Trying to come up with some lyrics...right now thinking about the sea and coral.

The instructions that came along with it smell like the 80's, like they were stored in a basement where the Karate Kid was played on repeat.

Lately I have been placing frozen fruit in little baggies and taking them to work, so that by the time I arrive, the fruit is unfrozen and then I add to oatmeal. For some reason, I am really liking this new routine.

le dîner

2011-03-23T19:55:00.012-06:00

Sunday evening we had our first big Sunday meal. We have been thinking/talking about doing this for a long time, starting a tradition. I made this tuscan stew (loved that it simmered in red wine for a couple hours). There was something really satisfying about the slowness of the cooking, tchecking & stirring every fifteen minutes. I noticed that many of our meals begin with sautéing carrots, celery & onions in olive oil. I'm excited to see what I notice about spring cooking.

On repeat lately:

Market

2011-03-18T10:53:00.005-06:00

A few weekends ago we went to a Flea Market a few miles from our house. It is huge! We walked up and down every single aisle. It took about 2 hours and I loved slowly walking around, trying to see every little thing. I picked up some real gems.

These mini busts of Schubert, Bach & Chopin ($2.99 a piece).

This gorgeous dish. I think it will be hard to bake something in it because it's so pretty ($2.99 with 30% off).

My obsession with jars is kinda taking over. This is an old Avon jar ($3.00 with 40% off).

We also picked up a ton of records & an old wooden box. And maybe something for a future nursery, but I feel silly even admitting that since it's not going to be for a while.

Last night when we were driving home from dinner it started raining. When we drove down the street to our house, I tilted my head and peered up at the sky. It was an almost black. A gray/black. And the tops of tress rushed by. In that moment, I felt so much (thinking about leaving this street, missing the color of the sky because when will it ever again be that shade of black?)

triste

2011-03-14T19:47:00.003-06:00

I knew that today was going to be tough. For several reasons. So I braced myself. And told myself I could do it. Then something happened that I wasn't expecting. And now I am just feeling a tad (aka enourmously) let down. Ahhh, the perils of expectations and disappointments.

So I listened to this song on repeat, and instantly felt better.

une promenade

2011-03-11T12:59:00.005-07:00

Yesterday was almost..hot outside. I think we reached 67 degrees and it felt amaz. We went on a stroll around the neighborhood before dinner. Taking that first walk in the evening in what felt like spring seems too good to be true. We walked until it was almost completely dark. Every house we walked by had lights glowing inside. There were three houses in row that had a little scene. The first house had a huge window and right inside was a long table, holding a couple bottles of wine. At the moment we walked by, a few people came to the table, one person pouring the wine. Everyone looked happy. At the second house, a couple was eating dinner together. They seemed quiet, almost sad. Their walls were bright yellow. The third house had sheer curtains (that almost seemed to be swaying in the breeze but that was probably just my imagination running wild). A man was lighting candles at a small table. Behind him was a modern kitchen with tall, open shelving displaying beautiful ceramic pieces.

I loved encountering the little happenings that take place all around me in my neighborhood, how people eat around the same time, turn their lights on around the same time. During the winter we are very much homebodies. It felt good to remember that so much happens outside of what we are used to.

le bonheur

2011-03-09T14:54:00.006-07:00

Taking Monday off of work was probably one of the best decisions I have made in a while. I woke up to freezing rain, which meant gloomy skies and tons of fog. Perfect for a morning spent at a coffee shop.

I filled two bags full of things to bring along.

Journals, magazines, newspaper.

Kindle, library books, laptop.

I caught up on blogs, wrote two pages in my journal (two pages!), wrote down a recipe for broccoli pesto & a recipe for avocado hummus. I then read the introduction to Stay Me, Oh Comfort Me by MFK Fisher and read this glorious line by her sister: 'Journals are fascinating in part because of what they do not say'. I really like this line. I think it struck me because recently I have been thinking that I should write in my journal more since I do not write a lot of personal stuff on this blog, or pretty much anywhere else. I was feeling like my journal could hold it all. I love how that line assumes the opposite. It felt so good to dedicate a morning to creative moments. I felt like I accomplished a lot in a small amount of time. I wish I had more of those mornings.

A little while back I sent Kate from For Me, For You our remix to listen to. I love her Monday Music editions and thought she might dig Toro Y Moi. I noticed today that she posted our song on Music Monday!! Pretty cool to notice in the morning, randomly.

Vendredi (nouveau)

2011-03-04T15:45:00.003-07:00

Little things are changing. Water running through the gutters, falling so fast to the ground. The sun hanging on a little longer each evening. Cooking with the window open a tad, warm scents floating in. To say that I love this time is an understatement. I always thought my favorite season was autumn. But it must be spring.

This line from a poem I read years ago keeps repeating in my mind-it is this, being so tangled in you.

I randomly decided to take Monday off of work. I think I will walk in to town for coffee/reading in the morning, then Great Expectations in the afternoon.

Vendredi

2011-02-25T08:36:00.005-07:00

It's snowing this morning. It's been a while since the last snow. We have some lovely, bright flowers in the kitchen. Since I am working from home today, I snipped a few and placed in a little vase I have not yet used. I bought the vase last summer at a garage sale for 25 cents and have been looking forward to using it for a while now.

This weekend is going to be very full, I can't wait for it to begin.

Strange love

2011-02-23T20:06:00.005-07:00

I told myself last fall I would take more walks in the winter. Long, slow walks. I guess it's not too late to start.

I had a flash of words this afternoon, but I didn't write them down. Maybe they will come back to me. I have been thinking about having some time every day dedicated to writing. I think it could be so good.

There is nothing better than one of your favorite bands covering a song of one of your other favorite bands. I'm sure I've said this before. It's just such a gem to encounter.

Murray & Edie

2011-02-20T12:44:00.018-07:00

I have been meaning to post about all of the little gems I brought home from my grandparents home last October. I love these pieces, a lot.

I remember opening this little gold box and finding match boxes from their travels. I think I will keep them in there forever.

On the back of the photo are the names of my grandma's sisters and brothers. The girl names make me swoon: Olive, Fern, Helen, Cora, Marguerite, Florence

I have loved this cabinet for years. I want to find the perfect place for it in our house.

I feel so lucky to have these pieces. They remind me of such good things.

Up

2011-02-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

aujourd'hui

2011-02-18T11:03:00.004-07:00

Last nite was a full moon. It was enormous and bright. It lit up our house even with the lights off. Crazy things happened yesterday, but I guess you can blame it on the moon.

I have been encountering some sweet stuff lately, thought I would share with you.

Natalie's notes on peace

I am going to try this recipe as soon as possible

I love when you are obsessed with a blog and then find out they have another site.

This gem of a song

I keep thinking about this necklace

I just received this lovely, lovely tote in the mail today after ordering it last week. I have had my eye on it forever.

It has been so nice outside lately. Last Saturday we had a few windows open and by early evening, our home smelled exactly like warm Saturdays from when I was younger.

Let the weather have its way with you

2011-02-16T21:16:00.004-07:00

Driving home this evening I had a funny flashback. When Steven and I first started dating, I told him about my love affair with NPR's World Cafe. That I have been listening to it since I was 13. During high school I would listen to it on my walkman every evening before I feel asleep. I think a huge part of my music love & taste in music was formed by the bands that David Dye presented to me every evening. So I told Steven this elaborate tale about how every year I would write David Dye a letter and send him pictures of my cat Chloe and give him a status on the health of my cat. And Steven believed everything that came out of my mouth. Amazing. For some reason, I hysterically laugh thinking about this story.

Yesssss

2011-02-11T15:14:00.004-07:00

Something that has always struck as me amazing (in some way) is hearing a song that reminds me of another song. There isn't usually a connection between the songs (not the same band) but they are reminiscent of each other. I usually get frustrated, trying to remember why the song sounds familiar. I spend a lot of time going back through memories, trying to remember. This happened to me this week. I just figured it out. These two songs remind me of each other.

& this song:

Today

2011-02-08T13:48:00.001-07:00

We have been cooking a lot lately, almost every nite for the past month. I love, love, love it. There's something really sweet about cooking in the winter, not sure what it is. I have been sharpening knives every nite. Rummaging through the pantry to see what we have on hand. Making a particular salad non-stop because it's so good (baby spinach, chopped yellow onion, chopped mushrooms, caesar dressing, cracked pepper).

Things are feeling so good lately. Such a drastic change from November-December of last year. So thankful.

Dimanche

2011-02-06T19:42:00.004-07:00

I have been eyeing a couple of jars at Anthropologie for a while. But mostly just enjoyed them from afar because they were a tad pricey. Yesterday I stopped by Marshalls and found a sweet little jar, reminiscent of the Refracted Ambiance Jar.

Anthropologie jar ($18):

My new jar ($5.50):

I am in love.

The other nite I came home from work and Steven was in the kitchen holding orchids in his arms, for me.

So in love.

Friday

2011-02-04T11:23:00.003-07:00

The last line of Ulysses: yes i said yes i will yes.

This line means so much to me, especially right now. More soon :)

Oh, and I really like this song.

Today

2011-02-02T22:36:00.004-07:00

Tonite. Was a celebration. In my mind I kept thinking: a celebration of a million things. Because that is what it feels like. We went to our favorite restaurant. Talked and talked and talked. About grace. About having a family in the future. About hope and everything in between. Today was unexpected.

Still sound

2011-01-31T18:50:00.005-07:00

I've been working on a pretty awesome project with Steven and my brother. We just remixed Toro y Moi's Still Sound for a Carpark records contest.

Toro Y Moi - Still Sound (lovelife remix) by Paola by paolamusic

Samedi

2011-01-22T08:44:00.007-07:00

Monday

2011-01-17T21:32:00.002-07:00

Today I took a shortcut home, in a city a few cities over from where we live. I wondered when I learned about it for the first time, how often I used to take it. Then I thought of what it would be like to be in a new city, wondering how long it takes to memorize new streets. At what point does something become familiar.

Still

2011-01-13T22:02:00.004-07:00

There are footprints in the snow in our backyard. Yet neither of us have been back there.

It is so strange how it can be so, so cold one day and warm the next.

Things are taking shape, time is moving, every day feels different from the last.

Bon soir.

Ce soir

2011-01-10T18:27:00.003-07:00

There is nothing better than being down & out and pulling through. Things are starting to feel magical again. My patience has returned, for myself. I am really liking this winter weather. It's gorgeous. Probably doesn't hurt that a new year has presented itself.

I have been reading like crazy lately. The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball. An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken. Must you Go?: My Life with Harold Pinter by Antonia Fraser. Each of these books re-newed me in some way. Taking the time to read each one was even better.

I have been thinking about a meal for a while. So tonite I am making it. Baked chicken covered in olive oil, garlic, herbs de provence. Roasted potatoes & carrots in butter. Spinach salad with diced onions, orange pepper, feta, splash of balsamic. If feels so good to cook. Even though I remind myself of this every day, I need to keep doing it.

p.s. i started this blog 2 years ago! hello!

A curve

2011-01-06T16:49:00.002-07:00

The other day I was perusing one of our bookshelves and I pulled down a copy of Crazyhorse, a publication put out by the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. I have no idea when I bought it, but I am notorious for picking up books like that when I am out and about. This issue is from Winter 1998. I checked out some of the poetry, and then I came across an essay about poet Lynda Hull. It is so very interesting, I am half way through and I am lapping up each detail about her. Reading the essay, I was taken right back to Iowa City and the people that I encountered that were in the Writers Workshop. I could almost smell the English building. The tall windows, the old floors. And then I was reminded of this big old house that was on a corner, but not the corner of an intersection, more like a curve in the road, the same road (of course it was a brick road). The house had been converted in to small apartments. Whenever I walked by it I imagined myself nestled in one of the rooms upstairs, having a little lamp, moving the curtains aside to see a view of the river that sat just beyond the tree tops. Sometimes when I think of this house I think that it wasn't even really inhabitable, that it was actually decaying. No one may have even lived there. My memories are slowly fading. I should try to capture more of them here.

The last nite

2010-12-31T12:52:00.002-07:00

It snowed yesterday. And last nite. And a bit more this morning. It is the last day of the year. I feel like every day I make new resolutions, little things I want to do, things that will lead towards happiness. So I guess I don't need to make a new list for the new year.

House of blues

2010-12-23T20:28:00.007-07:00

The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. With everything going on, I haven't really gotten in to the holiday spirit. I have basically been throwing myself a gigantic pity party. But now that I have the next four days off, I am slowly letting go of the negative and relishing the little details.

Some images that make me smile & remind this time is special.

All of the presents have been wrapped. The dishes are done. Fortune cookies read. Wine has been bought. Christmas cooking shows caught up on. Cinnamon candles burning. It's getting really, really cold outside.

I feel ready for whatever is next.

Some little things making me happy:

~receiving a digital timer from Steven's granny (I have always wanted one)
~looking at my anthropologie wish list every few days (Refracted Ambiance Jar, The Chemist's Jar, Mudroom Hook, Toasty Rose Scarf)
~Steven making me cd's every morning to listen to on the way to work
~disk four of Mistresses season 1 arriving in the mail today (please tell me you have seen this show! it's amazing!)

Steps in my direction

2010-12-15T21:11:00.008-07:00

The sunsets around here lately have been magnificent. One of my favorite parts of the day.

Sometimes, when encountering something super challenging, I forget that the tough time will pass. The time is passing, and a huge challenge at work has ended. I feel so relieved, so happy now. It's amazing how work can consume you. If only I didn't become so dedicated to everything that I do, maybe things would be a tad easier :)

I colored my hair last nite, the darkest it has ever been.

I went shopping for a party dress this evening. Ended up buying lots of new baking supplies (spatulas, cutting board, mixing bowl, angel food cake pan). Felt so good.

Lately I have been taking care of a bunch of little things, fun things. Is it strange that it makes me feel more alive, more inspired?

It's supposed to snow big time tonite and tomorrow. Throughout the afternoon & evening I would remember it's going to snow and felt little sparks of something, excitement? magic?

We have so much going on the next two weeks, I am looking forward to each and every thing.

Islands.

Played out

2010-12-09T21:40:00.004-07:00

If only I had taken up the xylphone at a young age, I would be this dude in this video. Thank you.

I think we should buy a little fake christmas tree, load it with lights & burn a candle that smells like a pine tree.

Please listen to this song on repeat tomorrow. Double thanks.

Thursday

2010-12-08T21:43:00.004-07:00

I can't believe that it is almost mid December and we have only had one snow so far. Today is was 60 degrees.

Today I came across this photo, taken last year, in our kitchen.

It felt good to miss that time for a moment, only to realize that my winter kitchen will be full once again.

I think one of the things in this life that helps me to feel positive are the little glimmers of hope that I feel, everyday. The past couple weeks have been so tough, mostly at work. And I have been missing the little glimmers. I try to remind myself of the constants. That if I look out the window around 4 the light has completely changed for the day. How when I leave work it will already so dark. That music is ready at any moment to hear. That Steven will smile at me.

This video is a.maz.ing

This song fits every space right now

American Artist

2010-12-02T21:07:00.006-07:00

I have gone on a bit of a buying book rampage. And I love it. The books next to my bed are exciting and oh so new to me. I can't wait to watch the stack get smaller & smaller as I finish each one. At the used book store near our house is the best memoir section in the world. I spend a long time standing at the back of the store, reading each and every title of the four tall bookshelves. This time around I found a fantastic find, The Olive Farm by Carol Drinkwater. Sitting next to it was The Olive Season, the sequel. I looked on the back of the first book and saw the words: ten acres of disused olive farm in the South of France. And the fact that I would have the next book in the series waiting for me, I might have cussed quietly. Little did I know, there is a third book in the series and maybe several more. Nice find.

Outside of Austin we found a used book that was huge & perfect. I picked up:

Drinking by Caroline Knapp
My Michael by Amos Oz
Telling by Marion Winik (I read her memoir First Comes Love last year and have missed her writing ever since)
Season 2 of Twin Peaks (for $6, how is that possible)
Patti Smith American Artist, photographs by Frank Stefanko (after my love affair with Smith's Just Kids, I couldn't believe my luck at finding 162 black & whites of her for 3.98)

Here are some of my favorite photos from the book.

I roasted my first chicken last weekend. It involved lemon juice, oregano, garlic & lots of butter. I think I will make it again this weekend, roasting potatoes & carrots too.

I keep thinking about 'The Four Coursemen' that I saw a couple weeks ago on the cooking channel. It was an hour of heaven. A group of friends in Athens, Georgia have a supper club a few times a month & traveled around the state looking for fresh produce & meat. Made me want to be part of that little group.

On the greatest side note of all, Doogie Howswer, M.D. is on every nite at 7:30 on a channel here. It's really spicing up my life.

Adored

2010-11-30T12:11:00.003-07:00

Wouldn't it be great if the reason I was writing this post today was to let you know that I quit my job to write full time? Wouldn't that be amazing? Since that's not the case, here is a nice song for you to hear.

I have lots to write about, I hope to be back soon.

Today

2010-11-22T10:19:00.005-07:00

This is my favorite time of year, right before Thanksgiving. And I keep on loving it until New Years. Last year we took the week of Christmas off. I often think of that time. This year we are taking this week off. We are going to walk to Main Street today, to go to the same happy hour we went to last year & walk to the same used book store that we did last year. I love that we will re-capture what we did before, what we felt before.

The battery on my camera died last week and I can't find the charger. It's been so weird not having my camera with me all the time. I brought home one of my grandpa's cameras, a Vivitar, that still had film in it. I have been really enjoying taking pictures with it.

I feel like there is so much to say. But for now, I can't remember.

Tuesday

2010-11-16T12:48:00.002-07:00

Some little things have been so lovely lately:

~had a perfect weekend with Steven
~my bro & Steven are working on a song they asked me to record a vocal (hello!)
~i added a stanza to a poem I have been working on for over a year
~last nite's dinner consisted of french bread, goat cheese, dry italian salami with herbs, homemade veggie soup
~my friend kara's mom-in-law just came back from france & gave her a sash of herbes de provence. i gave kara my new spice jar last nite and she filled it with the herbs and brought to work for me this morning
~my friend amy made scones over the weekend and brought two for me this morning

This morning

2010-11-13T10:54:00.002-07:00

Juliet.

Hiver

2010-11-11T20:40:00.005-07:00

This morning I woke up to snow. It covered the backyard, the front yard. I decided to work from home and the morning was super cozy. The afternoon, not so much. The work day continued to get worse & worse. But at least the morning was so nice.

Last nite I watched I Am Love. I have been waiting for a while for it to come out on DVD. Every single second of that film is decadent.

This weekend is the first weekend in a while that we don't have plans. I am hoping to bake a bit and also make bouchons au thon, which has been on my to-do list since last winter.

For you:

A Chinese poet many centuries ago noticed that to re-create something in words is like being alive twice. ~Frances Mayes

Un vrai magicien

2010-11-10T13:22:00.003-07:00

Last nite we drove through the main street of a little town. The store fronts had display after display of holiday decorations. I felt butterflies, not because of the displays, but of the thought of being in another city, a new city, walking around this time of year, peeking in store fronts. I am so often excited by things I see, only to be the most excited about something else. Does this happen to you?

Not many more days left to enjoy the leaves. This morning I stepped on these in the driveway.

I was never yours

2010-11-08T20:41:00.004-07:00

A journal entry from October 7

It is the beginning of October. There is a little chill in the air. Yet I can still sit on the front porch, bare armed, feeling almost too warm. I left work early today. Wanting to the break the rules a bit I guess.

I love the idea of creating a little solarium this winter. For some reason I have become obsessed with succulents. Maybe moss.

When I look at photographs of myself I do not see me. I wonder if other people do.

I think the best perfume would be bottling a fall evening, the smell of burning branches and a touch of crushed leaves.

If I make my presence known there is not room or time for fear.

--------

It is supposed to snow this evening. I can't believe I am saying this but I can't wait. Last winter was pretty magical. I took the time to see the beauty of it. And I love the smell that winter brings.

This song has been on repeat while I drive. You should try it.

Oh! And this one too.

Cable wires

2010-11-04T10:21:00.003-06:00

Last nite we had our cute friends Evan & Kayla over for dinner. We listened to some records & had a delish meal. Pesto cream sauce over cheese tortellini, homemade garlic bread & a caesar salad. This was my second time making the pesto cream sauce. I thought I would share the recipe since I think it's ab fab.

Thinly slice half of a red onion. Toss in to a pan that has about 4 teaspoons of olive oil. Add two tablespoons chopped garlic. Let the onion & garlic sweat for about 2-3 minutes, try not to brown the onion. Add a cup of white one & a cup of cream. Also add some black pepper. Let come to a boil then simmer, covered, for about 5 minutes. Add 2-3 tablespoons of fresh pesto. I then simmered for about 15 minutes with the lid partially on. The sauce should thicken.

As usual, I drank about five glasses of wine & maybe acted a tad ridiculous but I don't think Evan or Kayla minded.

In other news, I love listening to this song on repeat.

Routine

2010-11-03T12:15:00.003-06:00

I have been meaning to mention that my favorite author has written a new book. I keep putting it down to try to savor it a little longer. It's called Great House by Nicole Krauss. I wish I could send copies to everyone I know. Nicole did an interview that I really like, can be found here. Every single line is good. Another book I can't wait to read is Let the Great World Spin.

I have gotten in to a little routine when I come home for work. I water the mum on our front porch and check for the mail, which is never there at 530 but I always check. I light a candle and try to pick up a little bit. Last nite I organized for a bit, which I had been wanting to do forever. While in the kitchen, I felt at peace. I felt like I could breathe again peacefully after a rough few weeks. Our little house has become this amazing project for me. I can't imagine not living in it, doing the little things that mean so much to me for some reason.

While cleaning my grandpa's apartment, someone found a VHS with my name on it. I couldn't wait to get back home to see what was on it. Maybe a dance recital? Or a cute video of me as a little kid? Tout au contraire. It was an episode of Real World Hawaii. Made me laugh for a while.

I have been jotting down little notes in my journal about ideas for next year. Lovin it.

How sweet the sound

2010-11-01T12:44:00.003-06:00

My grandpa passed away last week. I feel like I have been in a daze that is now just starting to disappear. We drove to Iowa on Wednesday, back last night. I think it's sinking in now. Little occurrences that took place keep running in my mind. How they took his glasses off before closing the casket. How my great uncle told Steven that my grandpa was his hero. How my grandpa's sweet girlfriend bent over the coffin as far as she could to give him one last kiss. How my mom whispered 'goodbye dad' when looking at him for the last time. How the trees on the drive home only had leaves at the very end of their branches.

My grandpa loved feeding the geese near his home. We found two containers full of dried corn so the whole family got together and fed the geese for him. I loved those few moments, feeling full of goodness rather than sadness.

Limit

2010-10-19T12:10:00.005-06:00

Sometimes there is nothing better than someone covering a song that you LOVE. I just found this cover done by James Blake of Feist's Limit To Your Love. I live for these lyrics. Love hearing it in a different way.

Maybe I had extreme goosebumps the first time I heard James singing. Ok bye.

Mum

2010-10-18T12:28:00.004-06:00

This weekend my cousin, her husband and their sweet baby came over for dinner. When they arrived they had 3 bottles of wine & a bottle of Jack Daniels in their arms. Um, amazing. I made homemade ravioli & a pesto cream sauce. If there is a food I daydream about or actually dream about, it's pesto cream sauce. I found a really easy recipe online and I love how it turned out.

Yesterday started out sunny and ended up cloudy. I layed around most of the day since I wasn't feeling well. I am in love with the stories I am readying by Jhumpa Lahiri.

My grandpa has been in the hospital for over a week now. The past couple days he has been disoriented. He asked for my grandma twice and each time someone has had to tell him that she died three years ago. He has also been talking about his fiancée from 60 years ago, Rebbecca. I didn't know my grandpa had been engaged before my grandma. I keep praying and wishing on stars he gets better.

Yellow & Orange

2010-10-15T14:06:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I took a little break from working and walked around our backyard. It has always reminded me of a secret garden so it always feels special to walk around.

On our first date, we went to a wine bar in the middle of October and sat outside. Little orange and yellow fell around us, into our drinks. I remember looking at the leaves floating in my drink as I took sips and thinking how perfect it was.

Sea of light

2010-10-14T10:47:00.002-06:00

Sometimes a song can capture how you are feeling. This is that song.

Feeling a tad quiet lately. Last nite I stood on the front porch in the dark and looked up at the sky. I shivered, at my thoughts, at the cold. Time seems to be careening forward. I might be missing sweet moments, simple senses. Why can't time just sit still for a little bit?

Glory

2010-10-11T15:25:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I checked out from the library:

Goat Song: A Seasonal Life, A Short History of Herding, and the Art of Making Cheese by Brad Kessler
Keeping the Feast by Paula Butturini

I promised myself a break from memoirs about France & Italy, but of course I found a new one to read and of course, I can't put it down.

Yesterday was pretty chilly. For a moment as I walked outside I thought I smelled winter. If felt strange, not really nostalgic, more like a jolt to my system. I don't think I am ready for winter.

Thursday evening

2010-10-08T10:48:00.004-06:00

The best

2010-10-04T20:12:00.003-06:00

This weekend I went on a mini shopping spree, motivated by the beautiful fall weather.

I bought new sheets for the fall/winter

Frames for my Sandra Juto prints

A few other lovely purchases:

~new spring foam pan
~hazelnut coffee
~tights
~candle (i really wanted a scent that provoked fall. i spent a long time smelling a lot of candles. when i was checking out, the woman that helped me declared it smelled like christmans. isn't it sad that i was a little disappointed by that??)

There is this house in our neighborhood that I love driving by at nite. The house has a ton of windows and each window has a sweet little lamp. It shines so bright.

Little new shoes

2010-09-30T15:56:00.006-06:00

I am sitting at my old oak desk with the window open. The sweetest breeze of all time just hit me, for about 4 seconds, then went away. The heat wave seems to be over and there are little crinkly leaves on the ground. Finallllllly.

This weekend I took a couple pictures of new things I am loving.

Print:

Shoes:

I also wrote in my journal Saturday morning and finished Just Kids. Please put it on your list of books to read. It's captivating.

Last nite I read an old journal of mine. I wrote it during the hardest part of my life. While reading, I kept thinking, run! run! Not remembering that I actually did run. I felt like I was reading someone else's words.

Be here now

2010-09-28T16:19:00.001-06:00

This song just might be too beautiful for words.

A little space

2010-09-26T12:18:00.015-06:00

In the unfinished part of our basement there are some really lovely cabinets. I have always envisioned a little work space a top the cabinets. Yesterday I decided it was time to clear the crazy mess around and on top of the cabinets. Behold, the before, middle and after.

Before:

Middle (empty):

After:

And the details (my favorite part):

This corner has all of my vases and the small brown hanging bag holds ribbons & tissue paper to put together quick gifts.

We received these little pots as a wedding gift. I think they are meant to hold spices for you kitchen. I loved the idea of filling with little things, to try to be a bit organized.

A spot for my journal to jot down ideas.

And a space to tack up bits of inspiration.

I hadn't thought of clearing out the drawers, but Steven found some contact paper so I moved our landlords stuff out of two drawers, lined them, and filled with art supplies.

Glitter:

Last touch (vintage clock given to me by my friend Kim for my bday)

I am in love.

2010-09-21T11:19:00.005-06:00

I haven't ever really been one to follow the weather on the news but with the changing of the season, I have been paying close attention to the forecast. Over the weekend, the weather man let me know that a cold front would be coming in Monday nite and that Tuesday would be cool, in the 70's. Last nite the winds picked up, the sky became yellow and gray and huge lightning bolts could be seen in the distance. I was in heaven. It wasn't that cold but I put on a cardigan anyway. Before dinner, we ran to the library because I have been obsessing over some books I read the first chapters of on amazon and needed to check them out asap. I picked up:

Just Kids by Patti Smith
Piece by Piece by Tori Amos (the teenage Sara kicked in seeing that one)
Giada at home: Family Recipes from Italy and California (for some reason I have a crazy fascination with her)
Bella Tuscany: The Sweet Life in Italy by Frances Mayes

I went for Just Kids but couldn't help myself for grabbing the others. When I got home I cleaned up my bedside table so I could place my books there (nerdy??) and read for a long time before bed, it was luxurious. I really wanted to pick up The Lady in the Palazzo, but I like the idea of reading that one at the end of the fall, maybe wrapped up in a blanket eating chestnuts (omg).

Monday

2010-09-20T15:45:00.003-06:00

When I was in Austin I picked up a copy of Great Expectations for $2.50, hello!! This song was a mantra in my life from ages 16-18.

I still love it so much.

On a side note, it's still in the 90's here. I'm so afraid that we will skip fall and go right in to snow. Please tell me that won't happen!!

Swans

2010-09-16T12:43:00.003-06:00

I have so many thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head. You don't mind if I write them out? Ok, thanks.

I just read the first four paragraphs of Patti Smith's Just Kids. I then re-read those same paragraphs a few more times. Exquisite. Reading her words instantly reminded me of other words I have read recently and how much it makes me wanna write. But write great. Ya know?

While in Austin, I saw so many lily ponds. I felt like a little kid. I wanted to jump in the ponds and touch the lilies and swim around them. Of course I didn't have my camera on me, but I would have loved to take pictures.

I looooove to travel but I have an insane fear of flying. Usually three glasses of wine and a shot of tequila do the trick. I worry for days before the flight and once at my destination, the return flight looms, clouding over some of the excitement of actually being somewhere else. I know, ridiculous. But!! I gotta say, while traveling is lovely and seeing new sights is always excellent, I really like how traveling makes me think of home and how I become inspired to do things differently once I do end up back home. For example, my parents house is super organized. It was so nice to be around that I had an overwhelming sense of wanting that for our house. Kind of a lame example, but you catch my drift.

I am turning 29 on Sunday. I love how birthdays exude a kind of quiet excitement, how the day just feels a bit different.

This movie looks soooo good. December 1 seems so far away.

That's amore

2010-09-13T16:10:00.016-06:00

Last nite I returned home from a quick trip to Austin to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday. It was the best. Very hot, but fun. Below are some pictures taken around my parents house as well as around Austin & Georgetown. Going back in two months. Hell yes.

My brother showed us this youtube video, we spent the rest of the weekend imitating it.

Butterflies

2010-09-08T16:27:00.004-06:00

Last Saturday we rode our bikes to a cafe down the street from our house. It has an amazing patio. We had tons of these.

Earlier that afternoon, I bought a new wallet.

Only 9.99 at Urban Outfitters!

Last nite I picked a bunch of tomatoes from the garden. I called them my bounty to Steven.

Tonite I am preparing for a little trip. Can't wait to write about it once I am back.

Orange

2010-09-07T14:03:00.002-06:00

Yesterday afternoon a fire started in the hills west of Boulder and went in to the nite, still going this morning. My friend posted this picture on Facebook.

(i.imgur.com)

I woke in the middle of the nite and asked Steven if the fire could reach us 20 miles north of the fires. He said no and then I fell back asleep. Many houses burned down and people had to evacuate the area. It made me so sad.

Lets party

2010-09-02T11:04:00.002-06:00

This summber has been filled with new music. Here are some of my faves.

If you have the chance, please watch this whole video:

I got chills on my cheeks, is that weird? I love Florence's hair color, I want it.

Septembre, oui !

2010-09-01T14:00:00.002-06:00

Whooooa, the memories. I gotta say, after a while, I felt like I didn't have any memories at all. I would search and search in to the past and had whole afternoons of blank thoughts. Guess that's what happens when you put the pressure on. I wanted to see what it would be like to blog every day. And let me tell ya, it's difficult! I admire so many bloggers and many of them post every day. They should win awards. It also felt a bit self indulgent at times, posting all the memories. But I really wanted to get them down, so that I can always remember them. That part felt good.

I made my first tomato tart last weekend, with phyllo dough. It turned out great. I was so surprised.

Our friend David was in town last week. He's a chef so I bombarded him with a mil questions and even had the chance to cook with him. I learned so much. Like how white wine vinegar is delish on ribs. Like wow.

I can't believe it is September, my favorite month. I always want it to pass by extra slow. That never happens.

Memory #31

2010-08-31T14:11:00.003-06:00

S: I am in love with you
S: I am falling madly in love with you!

Memory #30

2010-08-30T16:13:00.001-06:00

My favorite movie of all time is Stealing Beauty. I have watched it over and over and over. It's so gorgeous. And the soundtrack pretty much changed my life. It's my go to movie when I am feeling sad. I love thinking about the times that I watched it, when I shared it with other people.

Memory #29

2010-08-30T10:39:00.002-06:00

When I was little, my best friend was Lisa. I looooved her. A few weeks after we moved in to a new house in a new neighborhood, I was outside in the backyard. I looked up and saw Lisa coming towards me. I was so confused but so elated. She was moving in to the house behind us! I grabbed her hand and I took her right to my room, showing her all of my favorite things. I remember feeling so lucky that my best friend was now my neighbor. We spent hours and hours and hours together.
When I first moved to Denver a few years ago, I was at a bar watching a Hawkeye game. I looked up and there was Lisa! She had just moved to Denver and I had had no idea! Love stories like that.